Why so silent, good m'sieur?

I am tired and bored and a little anxious so I thought now was a good moment to blog and spew some stress out into the internet. You know, as one does.

Also, my titles are random, as you should know by now.

I miss my piano a lot right now. (Even though it's one in the morning and I couldn't play piano even if I were at home.) On Friday I took the Patterson piano for a spin (not a spin, a...tickle? what is the appropriate idiom for this?) and it was awful; the whole feeling was wrong. At first I was playing Cristofori's Dream and one of the RAs sort of rushed up to me and said, "I love that song!" And I said, in my awkward/overenthusiastic way, "Oh, do you play David Lanz?" And he had no idea what I was talking about and rushed away again...

After that I was terrible, terrified that I was either awful or bothering everyone around me, and there are people EVERYWHERE in this hall and oh god it's so claustrophobic sometimes. I love being truly alone, but I hate being alone and surrounded by people. That's the worst part of college, in my opinion. Particularly sitting in a classroom or lab or lecture hall full of strangers...it's a huge contrast from knowing and trusting and liking everyone in my high school classes.

Also, I can't freaking sing! I never knew until now how often I have the urge to burst into song...an urge I have to repress unless I want to alienate everyone on my floor. (Once I decided to sing in the shower, thinking there was nobody there...I was wrong. Also, apparently you could hear me four doors down. Whoops.)

Ahaha I just realized how whiny I sound. I'm really quite content with my college experience thus far...it's better than I feared, worse than I'd hoped, which I suppose is true of most things. The above is pretty much an exhaustive description of the things I hate about college. The things I love...

~ Coke Zero! I have recently discovered it; it's so lovely! I drink it like water.

~ A few lovely people I've met

~ My sister! Never again shall I be separated from her and her cool hair.

~ My research mentor...perhaps in a few weeks I could just shorten this to "my research," but right now I am still too stupid and can't figure out anything on my own. So it's not really "my" research. Also, I'm doing online safety and ethics training right now...it's torture.

~ My BIcycle, BIcycle BIcycle. I love to ride my bicycle.

~ Autonomy (need I even explain this?)

~ My room. It's pretty decked out. To the extent that we're going to have to take off the posters to pass fire safety inspection.

~ My two goldfish, Mad Eye and Nymphadora, and their bling. (They have bling instead of gravel right now...but I took pity on them and ordered them some black gravel to mix among the bling.)

There, that was a fulfilling and positive blogging experience! Now, back to the sodding safety training.

xxx